To Be a Woman
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I used to be scared of becoming a woman. Being a little girl wasn't a big deal--I could wear pants and tromp in the mud and have wild, crazy hair. But to become a woman meant taking on a mantle of some mysterious responsibility; a woman was an ethereal, beautiful angel... and I was just a little girl.
Then at age 11 or 12 I was at the library and grabbed a book that I thought was just a historical novel for kids. It turned out to be from the adult section, and it contained a pretty detailed scene of rape. This scared me even more. How could I become a woman in a world where terrible things happen?
Time passed, and I grew, and I asked myself "what does it mean?" I asked God, "what does it mean to be a woman in a broken world?"
And He said, again and again, "it means to be you," which I didn't understand for a long time. Didn't understand that I could find the answers inside me. That the mystical beauty and strength I saw in women as a child was inside of me, too.
I didn't understand until I chose courage. I chose to open the door of my heart a crack. I opened a crack and was astonished to see the fruits unfold before me. The beauty from that vulnerability. I was astonished at the incredible gift of woman: to multiply love. To support and encourage and share. I had never realized that was available to any woman... never realized it was possible for every woman.
In a world where femininity is at once upheld and discarded, loved and hated, beautiful and broken... I want to practice gratitude for this beautiful responsibility. For the opportunity to show, in my person, love. To shelter and nurture and breathe life. To be a woman.
Meredith Kuzma a 25 year old videographer with a passion for storytelling and a love for Star Wars.