Discerning the Next Step as a Grad Student
Interview with Elizabeth Czajka
Part Two from our “Thy Will Be Done: Life After College” Series
Photo by Chelsey Shortman
Interview with Elizabeth
Elizabeth Czajka is a graduate student at the University of Texas at San Antonio (UTSA), pursuing her Ph.D. in Physics. She currently works with the team of the Lyman Alpha Mapping Project (LAMP), a far-ultraviolet spectrograph onboard NASA’s Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter (LRO). Her current scientific interests involve using LAMP to study the surface composition and volcanic history of the Moon. Elizabeth received her Bachelors of Science (B.S.) in Chemistry in 2016 from Texas State University. She loves reading fantasy books and knitting blankets for charities, all under the close supervision of her very fat orange cat.
Tell us about yourself and what you do!
I think a high school teacher once described me as a Renaissance Woman. I love to learn how things work, and I can’t stick to one field! Even in my off time, I’m always creating something, whether its a quilt, a costume for a Renaissance fair, or writing a new campaign for my Dungeons and Dragons group. Currently, I am a graduate student, pursuing my Ph.D. in Physics at UTSA. I study the Moon’s surface using data from the far-Ultraviolet spectrograph LAMP, onboard NASA’s Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter (LRO).
How did you prepare for life after graduation?
Honestly, I didn’t! My last semester of undergrad was very difficult. I was working 20+ hours a week, and taking 16 hours of coursework. By the time I graduated with my B.S. in Chemistry, I was burnt out and really needed a break. I went home to my parents and kept up the job search, but nothing panned out. I eventually ended up working part-time in an office for about 9 months. That’s when I decided to apply to UTSA and take a chance on a graduate degree.
How did this transition affect your relationship with God?
I have a running joke that I’m so stubborn, God has to hit me upside the head with a 2x4 for me to listen. And that’s exactly what happened after I graduated. Every door I tried to open closed. All that was left was to work at my office job, rest, and reconnect with myself and God. Finally, I was able to really listen to God, look at the doors He had opened for me, and decide what I wanted to do next. I didn’t know what I wanted to do for a career, but I knew I wouldn’t be living up to my potential until I tried to get a Ph.D. in Physics.
But God and I had a long talk when I submitted that application. I needed to know this was where God wanted me so I told Him “If You want this to happen, make it happen”. Slowly, everything started to fall into place, the program, the grant funding, my thesis project. So I trusted God, took a chance, and started my Ph.D. at UTSA.
Speaking of your potential, what in your life prompted your conviction to know you were capable of doing more or How did you define or pinpoint that potential? Why do you think this was a “door” God opened?
This is a really hard question for me to answer. I think myself and a lot of women, especially in STEM fields, struggle to understand their own potential and envision themselves in these careers. In my experience, this is also the case in my personal and spiritual lives. I have a bad habit of focusing on what I think I can do, not what I want to do. I wanted to learn physics and chemistry and quantum mechanics, but I thought I wasn’t capable of learning the math it required. I had a lot of friends and mentors who saw something that I didn’t, and who pushed me into math and physics classes I didn’t think I was ready for. Each semester I didn’t fail felt like a kind encouraging smile from God saying “Don’t stop, keep going!” I think that process semester after semester is what made me realize I have so much potential. I have a hard time seeing what I’m capable of and where I’m going, but God doesn’t. So, I’m going to keep pushing myself and keep learning until God tells me to stop.
How have things turned out differently than anticipated in your career? How are you finding contentment with your life?
I never thought I would be smart enough to get a Ph.D. or have a career as a physicist. But, I love a challenge, and God knew that better than I did! Graduate school has helped me push past my limits and forced some serious academic and personal growth. Sometimes, there are Sundays where I go to mass and tell God, “I’m so tired, You’re going to have to get me through this week!” and of course He helps me dig deep to find the energy and strength I need. I am content here because I know I am growing into the woman God has called me to be. Don’t get me wrong, the past few years have been difficult, and I have felt like quitting more than once, but St. Rose of Lima said it best “The gift of grace increases as the struggle increases.”
How has finding a community and a new sense of home in the Church been like for you?
I guess my sense of “home” in the Church is really tied to the Eucharist. No matter where I travel, Jesus, in the Eucharist is always in a tabernacle close by, waiting for me to come back home to Him. Recently, I’ve been reminded that my home and my life is built with Him, no matter where I live.
Community looks very different for me now than it did in undergrad. I still attend a university parish, but I’m not involved in volunteer or outreach groups like I was before. I think I realized I moved to a different stage of my journey with God. My life and my prayer life looks very different than in my undergrad years, and that’s okay!
You said your prayer life looks different since having graduated from college, how is it different and what do you think caused this?
During most of college, my prayer life was very structured, with time set aside for daily mass, communal and individual prayer. That structure came from a Catholic missionary organization for college students, Saint Paul’s Outreach, through which I lived in a house with several other wonderful Catholic women. Once I left college and the Catholic community I had gotten comfortable with, the structure was gone and it was difficult to keep up my old prayer habits. Once I started graduate school, I only got busier. Right now, I hardly have time and energy for anything other than eating, sleeping and work/school. I was very frustrated that my new work and school schedule didn’t give me time to pray the way I was comfortable with. But God doesn’t want us comfortable, he wants us to grow. I held onto the idea of what my prayer life should be, and I felt guilty that I wasn’t able to give God the same time I did before. But, I realized that even a two second “Thank you” to God right now was more important to Him than me trying to take a holy hour at the expense of my graduate work. It’s a lot like the parable in Mark about the poor widow who only had two coins to give to the temple, but she gave those two coins willingly. And those two coins given from her substance were more important than all the excess riches brought in by others [Mark 12:41-44]. The hour for mass on Sunday, and small prayers for strength and thanksgiving are all I have to give to Him. But I’m giving Him everything I have, and even though it’s very little, I know its precious to Him.
How are you intentionally living out your faith and seeking out new friendships?
I really enjoy being around people who share my interests, and for a nerdy, Dungeons and Dragons obsessed, space physicist like me, that means I end up around a very diverse group of people. But you know, I think that we can live out our faith by being true to ourselves and kind to others! In undergrad, I didn’t really have friends who shared my interests, because I was more focused on my identity within the church community. I think I was much happier after I allowed myself to do the things I enjoy and learned to make lasting friendships with people who don’t hold the same views as me. God calls us to live in truth, and that means being true to ourselves as God made us, body, mind, and soul!
Drawing from your own experience, what advice might you give to women who are currently in the midst of their transition from graduation to post-grad life? How might they discern the next steps the Lord might be inviting them to take?
The best advice I ever got was from a professor who said “Don’t worry about what you want to do with your life. Just worry about what you want to do next.” Ask yourself what you want to do next, and go for it! God knows you better than you know yourself, and He will open and close doors for you. Sometimes, when we try to discern God’s will, we focus on figuring out what God wants, when all He wants is for us to be happy and live up to our potential. Trust God and work hard. He has a funny way of making everything work out in the end!
This interview was compiled and edited by Ashley A. Hinojosa.
Read Part One from our “Thy Will Be Done; Life After College” Series