Not By My Own Might
Interview with Rachel Herbeck
Part Four from our “Hope: More Than Christian Positivity” Series
Photo by Chelsey Shortman
Rachel’s Interview
What is an area in your life where you have been called to have greater hope?
In the past six months, there have been a few different areas in my life that I have felt defeated in and lacking in hope, but one, in particular, has been my work life and the way I feel called to contribute to the world. I currently work for the Catholic Church in full-time ministry with young adults and have felt God’s call and hand on my life on my journey up to this point. But especially during the time of the global pandemic, combined with being in my mid-twenties and also not married, I have found myself giving in to discouragement and thought patterns that were telling me that what I had done up to that point in work really wasn’t contributing to the world and I had wasted my time. I have found myself discouraged about my career future, wondering if what I have to offer was only good for the past and there may not be anything good coming up for me in the future.
Have you seen positivity fall short in this area? How has hope been different?
I definitely found myself in a pit of discouragement that I continuously felt unable to get out of. Not only was I lacking in hope, but my lack of hope was leading to more and more fear of my future. I subconsciously started to believe that at the young age of 25, I might have peaked in what I had to offer the world. What if my best days were behind me? What if the passion I had
felt for God and the fire I felt to build His Kingdom on earth was a thing of the past? What if I wasted my gifts and talents? I was falling short in my ability to combat these thoughts that would swirl around in my mind on almost a daily basis. Hope used to feel like something much closer to me, that I could just stand on my tippy toes and pull off the shelf. But in the past season of my life, hope has been asking for grace to reach across the threshold into the heavenly hope that Jesus won for me and bringing it to earth. I can’t work up hope in this moment, so I need to tap into the eternal hope of Heaven that Jesus has given me through his death and resurrection.
Do you consider yourself a positive person? How has this impacted the way you relate to hope?
I definitely consider myself to be a positive person, but often find it easier to be positive on behalf of others than for myself. I have often thought of positivity almost as short term, like little spurts of hope. But this has fallen short in my life when I fail to connect positivity to the virtue of hope, a gift from Jesus to activate in my life. When I am trying to “think positively”, it almost feels like I am trying to work my way into hope without the help of Jesus.
What practices have helped you come to know Jesus more in pursuit of hope?
Reading scripture has been one of the most effective practices in helping me grow in hope. I read a portion of scripture each day so that I can soak myself in the promises of God. To grasp onto hope in a way that is meaningful, I need to continuously remind myself that hope is not dependent on how I feel, it is totally and completely dependent on what Jesus says and who He is, which is completely true, trustworthy, faithful, and constant. When I don’t feel like having a positive attitude or leaning into hope, I try to lean into who He is and what He has said through the words of scripture. I write down verses on index cards and put them in my journal, my car, my mirror, and try to recite these verses until I believe them.
What have you heard Jesus say to you in your pursuit of hope in this area?
In the past, the way I viewed Jesus when I was in a pit of discouragement was that he was on the outside of the hole, yelling down to me, telling me how I was supposed to get out. But essentially, still far away. He would even reach His hand in, but there was still a space between us. I still felt like I had to work my way up to Him. That I had to prove that I had hope and could work my way through the things that were hard in order to make it to Him.
I had a mentor...that flipped that idea on its head when I recently shared it with her. Instead of agreeing with me, she asked, “What if Jesus is in the hole with you?” It changed the place I saw Jesus in when I struggled with hope. I realized that He isn’t on the outside looking in at me, waiting and hoping I get out so I can be with Him. He climbs down into the pit with me, when I turn, He is right there, as close as can be. He doesn’t ask me to white-knuckle my way into hope, He wants to take me there, walk me there, give me His grace to help me every step of the way.
Do you have a favorite Scripture passage about hope?
My favorite passage about hope is from 1 Peter 1:3-5:
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! By his great mercy he has given us a new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who are being protected by the power of God through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.”
I love this verse so much because it refers to hope as living hope - hope is alive and it is active! It is not a stagnant virtue, but it is one that is not only alive, but we participate in it. It also tells us the source of our hope - the death and resurrection of Jesus from the dead. Because of what Jesus has done, we are born into hope! Finally, it reminds us of the object of our hope: our inheritance. That through His death and resurrection, Jesus is guarding for us in heaven right now. This is my hope. That Jesus has given me eternity, the ability to see the Father face to face one day. And it is a work he has done on my behalf, and one I continuously accept!
This interview was compiled and edited by Michelle Rash
Rachel shares how Christ speaks to her in the midst of discouragement when hope seems most far off.