Interview with Kristen Deasy

Part Two from our “Hope: More Than Christian Positivity” Series

Photo of Kristen

Kristen Deasy is the founder & president of The Human Condition, a nonprofit organization that strives to cultivate hope, healing & conversation through the integration of faith & mental health. Much of Kristen’s faith journey and reversion back to the Catholic Church has been a result of her experiences with depression & attempted suicide. She desires for others to know the redemptive nature of their suffering and that mental illness does not prevent them from becoming who God has created them to be, a saint. Kristen currently lives in Pittsburgh, PA and is preparing to marry her fiancé Santonio in August 2021. Outside of work, Kristen loves to thrift clothes & home decor, host dinners & game nights and explore the hidden gems of the city.

Kristen’s Interview

Tell us a little bit about yourself. What has cultivating the virtue of hope looked like in your life?

My name is Kristen Deasy and I live in Pittsburgh, PA. I recently founded a Catholic mental health non-profit called The Human Condition which I run full time. Much of my faith journey and reversion back to the Church was a result of battling severe depression and being hospitalized for two suicide attempts. After undergoing intense therapy and treatment, I began reflecting on the traumatic nature of what I had experienced through depression, suicide and a hospitalization which brought up many questions of faith and God. Wrestling with my faith and specifically with the idea of hope in the midst of the suffering I had endured was a huge turning point for me. I began to recognize that hope exists not to dismiss human suffering but rather as a means to embrace suffering and see the transformative and redemptive nature of suffering. Hope was only possible and meaningful if God exists because He is the only one who could have the power to transform the worst situations (like a suicide attempt) into something beautiful that could glorify Him.

Cultivating the virtue of hope in my life has been quite a journey and has looked different from when I first experienced a reversion and to how it looks now. Reading the stories in the Bible, specifically the stories of the Old Testament. These stories and the individuals within them were no stranger to suffering and immense hope. In the midst of tragedy, war, famine, murder, infidelity, slavery, any type of suffering you can imagine, the people of the Old Testament were ones filled with radical Christian hope. They didn’t pretend the suffering they were experiencing didn’t exist, yet they clung to hope and clung to the Lord in his promise of deliverance. Through reading these stories, I saw tangibly what hope truly looks like lived out in the Christian life.

How would you distinguish between optimism and Christian hope?

Optimism is more of an attitude where Christian hope is a conviction, a disposition of one’s heart. Because hope is a theological virtue it is rooted in faith, in the person of God. Hope isn’t naïve or a synonym of optimism. It’s much harder to cultivate hope than optimism. It takes true recognition of our powerlessness and complete dependence on God to have hope and live out the virtue of hope in the midst of trials and suffering.

What is an area in your life that you have been called to have greater hope?

The areas where I have been called to have greater hope are within the ache of the prayers I have been offering and bringing to the Lord for years. The prayers I have for my friends and family to experience deep and radical conversions, the prayers I have for a loved one to experience deep healing, the prayers that seem as if the Lord does not hear and does not answer. It is within this deep ache of longing for answers and resolutions to these prayers that I am asked to have hope and cling to it. I am reminded of Abraham who knew the longing and ache of waiting on the Lord to answer his prayers or of the Israelites enslaved by the Egyptians who clung to hope for years while they waited to gain their freedom.

Where have you seen optimism fall short in this area?

Optimism isn’t lasting, it has no real substance. Because optimism overlooks and dismisses suffering, hurt, heartbreak, tragedy, and pain, it offers no real comfort when these very real and inevitable circumstances arise. Optimism offers a fake reality to escape the present instead of helping us grapple with and accept what our current reality is without falling into despair.

How has hope changed this area in your life?

Hope has given me the comfort and truth that I do not simply change my circumstances by having a different attitude but rather a person, Jesus Christ, is with me in my circumstances and can change my heart through them. Hope has allowed me to truly experience the range of emotions that come with great suffering instead of writing off my emotions. Hope has comforted me and strengthened me in times where it could have been easier to fall into despair at unanswered prayers and it has renewed within me the promise that the Lord hears and answers all things in His time and in accordance with His will. That fills me with much more comfort and peace than if I had complete control of all things I prayed for.

What practices have helped you come to know Jesus more in pursuit of hope?

Reading the stories of the saints who knew great suffering, reading Sacred Scripture every day, and spending time with the Blessed Sacrament.

What advice would you give to the Catholic woman who is struggling with hopelessness?

Get to know the people and stories of the Old Testament as well as the lives of the Saints. They are our models of how to conquer hopelessness and persevere through the difficult seasons we are bound to face. Look to Esther, Abraham, Zechariah, David, Job, Saint John Paul II, Servant of God Dorothy Day, and Saint Jane Frances de Chantal. Whatever situation or struggle that is making you feel hopeless, bring it to Christ crucified on the cross. After experiencing first-hand the depths of despair and hopelessness through depression and attempted suicide, my hope was renewed through uniting my suffering to Christ on the cross. It is there, where any type of suffering or pain is transformed and redeemed and where ultimately our hearts can truly experience hope.

This interview was compiled and edited by Michelle Rash