Steeped in the Heart of Jesus: Finding Your Voice and Using your Gifts to Fight the Sin of Racism
Interview with Chika Anyanwu
Part Four from our “Tending to the Wounds of Racism” Series
Photo by Jacob Bentzinger
Series Introduction
In Gaudium et Spes, the Catholic Church underlines the necessity of social justice by pointing out the basis of our call to charity as social beings: “everyone must consider his every neighbor without exception as another self.” (GS 27).
This is founded upon our belief of the dignity of the human person: “Created in the image of the one God and equally endowed with rational souls, all men have the same nature and the same origin. Redeemed by the sacrifice of Christ, all are called to participate in the same divine beatitude: all therefore enjoy an equal dignity.” (CCC 1934).
From here we can stand firmly by the words of the Church that, “Every form of social or cultural discrimination in fundamental personal rights on the grounds of sex, race, color, social conditions, language, or religion must be curbed and eradicated as incompatible with God's design.” (GS 29).
In the midst of many movements and outcries, we have interviewed Black Catholic women about their experiences of racism and their hopes for the Church and our world. Through their words and stories, we pray that you find healing, understanding, and zeal for renewing our Church and society; that through your personal choice of charity, we might call out sin, call on virtue, and truly love each of our neighbors as another self.
Interview with Chika Anyanwu
Chika Anyanwu is an international Catholic Speaker currently based in Anaheim, California. She received her bachelor's degree in English from California State University, San Bernardino in hopes of becoming a high school English and English as a Second Language instructor, but fell more deeply in love with sharing about Jesus and the Catholic Church.
Chika was a parish Confirmation Coordinator and Young Adult Minister for eight years in Southern California, is a two-time alumna of the National Evangelization Teams Ministries (NET Ministries, USA), and currently serves as an Area Contact for the Life Teen youth ministry movement while still spreading the Gospel full-time. Chika is a part of a big and beautiful Nigerian family, loves coffee, and strives for sainthood every day, although bad drivers challenge her sanctity.
What inspired you to pursue a relationship with Jesus Christ?
In my short life I have experienced moments with God and moments without God—or more accurately stated, moments where God was still present but I didn’t want Him to see what I was doing—and I never want to go back to the latter. In either case, John 15:16 best describes my relationship with the Lord: “It was not you who chose Me, but I who chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit that will remain, so that whatever you ask of the Father in my name, He may give you.”
God has pursued, is pursuing, and will always pursue me more than I pursue Him. I’ve looked for Him in people, food, and adventures and at some point, I always end up weary and disappointed. But He continuously pursues me as I am, seeking me in my doubts and insecurities. He has led me to the desert many times and has spoken persuasively, encouragingly, and lovingly to me (Hosea 2:16) to the point that even when I try to ignore Him, I know that He is there.
Quite simply, I love God! I love our relationship, communication, honesty, His correction, and my sheepish moments. He is gentle with me when I’m hard on myself, tough with me when I’m not being about His business, and He isn’t afraid to remind me that He is God and I am not.
What do you love about being Black? What do you wish others could understand about being Black?
I’ve wrestled with whether or not I want to answer this question. I understand the intent, but in the front of my mind is the reality of having to justify or showcase that yes, there indeed is goodness in being Black! Some nonBIPOC can’t fathom there being any good in it.
Truly, there is so much to love about being Black/African-American––I’m first-gen American-born Nigerian – but I didn’t always appreciate those things because growing up they were seen as ugly, obnoxious, or wrong.
First, I love my skin! The way that it is soft and smooth like my grandmother’s and my mother’s.
I love my dark chocolate skin tone that used to make me a target of ridicule and teasing in school, but has also been the source of one of my most beloved nicknames.
I love my hair even though it confuses the heck out people, and to be honest, sometimes frustrates me! It’s curly, coily, kinky, and everything in between. But each strand is thick and can be shaped into art. Until recently, natural hairstyles like Afros and cornrows were seen as unruly and unkempt. The U.S. military even had a ban on natural hairstyles—that are more than a fashion statement but actually protect the delicate nature of Black hair––calling multiple braids, twists, and dreadlocks “unauthorized” in handbooks. By limiting protective hairstyles, the ban discriminated against Black women and men and put them at risk of being penalized for non-compliance. But it’s not just the military that has discriminated against Black women. In most stores “ethnic hair care” products used to be relegated to a slivered section of the general (read: White) hair care aisle next to hair relaxers (chemical hair straighteners) and skin bleaching products. As a little girl looking for shampoo and conditioner, I was already being conditioned to see myself as hidden in the margins, my natural curly hair as “unkempt,” and my skin tone as too dark. Praise the Lord for Ms. Patrice, the Black salon owner who taught me how to appreciate my hair (and Yolanda Adam’s “Open My Heart”) and YouTube hair tutorial videos that taught me how to take care of my hair. I have a newfound love for wash-and-go looks, twist-outs as well as protective styles like braids and kinky twists!
I love the many people that some would call strangers or maybe friends, but I call aunts, uncles, and cousins because family isn’t just the singular unit you are born into, but also the village that helps raise and support you.
I love the joviality and song that echoes in Black laughter. It’s the sound that some would try to tame as being too loud, but in reality, it’s just trying to be shared.
I love the shared knowledge of our nonverbals in public spaces. A simple head nod, side-eye, or smirk speaks volume!
And I love our praise! Have you ever been to an Igbo Mass or praise at a Black Catholic Church? I feel at home in the choruses of “Hallelujah!” “Amen!” clapping and dancing!
This doesn’t even touch on the intelligence, resourcefulness, talent, and unique contributions of Black and African communities but it shows the love, joy, and familial bonds that connect us.
How has racism been prevalent in your life? How has it affected you and your family?
Some people think that words and actions have to be overt or violent to be considered racist and that is part of the problem. Microagressions, as well as macroaggressions, are equally offensive and damaging to the identity of BIPOC. I’ve shared stories of racial profiling in stores, family members being harassed by police and even having guns drawn on them, being called the N-word, being sat in hidden places in restaurants, experiencing hostile and unequal treatment by teachers especially in terms of discipline or expectations, and more.
But the damage manifests in other ways. Recently my family and I recently decided to go on a vacation close to the beaches of Southern California. As we were deciding on activities that we can do while staying close to or at the vacation rental, I suggested going on a family walk. But even as I said those words aloud I knew we were all thinking the same thing: we, as an African-American family, cannot just go strolling down the street. What if somebody calls the police on us? What if someone feels intimidated and decides to take matters into their own hands? At one point I thought about calling the owners of the vacation rental to ask if it was safe for us to go on a walk around the neighborhood but the absurdity of that question was painfully poignant to me. Why should we ever have to ask if it is safe for us to exercise? Why would it not be appropriate for a Black family to go for a walk together? Why is being Black a cause for intimidation?
Many people would say, “You don’t have to worry about police or neighborhood vigilantes if you’re not doing anything wrong.“ But what if the “wrong” is just being Black? We saw what happened to Ahmaud Arbery and others before and after him.
This is not an extreme thought or an exaggeration. We, as Catholics and Americans need to be honest about the reality of prejudice, discrimination, and racism and how it harms the people it is directed towards. Non-BIPOC are often wrongly intimidated by black skin because of centuries of lies and stereotypes that depict Blacks as more violent or prone to violence than others. Portions of skewed studies are spewed as “evidence” that Blacks need to be contained and detained rather than allowed to live equally, freely, and seen as an extension of the same mystical Body of Christ.
One of the first things that most Catholics learn as young children is of our identity. We are sons or daughters of the Most High King, made in His image and likeness (Genesis 1:27). But one of the many evils of racism is that it calls people outside of their dignity and identity and makes them “other.” They are not a son or daughter of God like us or they may be a son or daughter so long as they act, talk, and think like us. Whether this is a conscious or subconscious thought, it has led and still leads to overt and covert marginalization, discrimination, and oppression of People of Color. And in some cases, death.
My close-knit family of sweet little kids, nurses, teachers, defenders, executives, and an evangelist were worried about being mislabeled and treated as “thugs” because that is what’s happening in 2020.
I went on that walk with my mom but we never went together as a whole family.
Was there ever a noticeable shift in which racist behavior towards you increased?
When I became a full-time itinerant minister, and traveled around the country, I became more aware of racism and discrimination in Christian circles. In talking to someone about these issues in the Church she exasperatedly sighed and said, “I wish you wouldn’t say that it’s the Church that is doing these things, but rather certain members of the Church.”
I realize the discomfort of “airing our dirty laundry” to the world, especially when we are called to love and defend Mother Church, but by calling out racism, BIPOC and allies are doing just that. Defending Her honor and loving Her by calling Her children to holiness. When lay ministers or clergy, who are leaders in the Catholic Church, commit offenses, it reflects on the Church as a whole whether we like it or not. And it is not the person who is bringing these things to light that is in the wrong and causing scandal, but the actual person committing the sin.
But what does Mother Church, in all of her wisdom, say about racism? Please do your homework and read up on it! The Church knows that personal and institutional racism exists but it’s not just good enough to know about it and acknowledge it. We must actively work to abolish it!
There is a plethora of Church documents from the Magisterium, and great resources from clergy and lay persons. Read Pope Francis’ recent encyclical Fratelli Tutti, listen to holy priests and sisters like Fr. Joshua Johnson (@frjoshjohnson) and Sister Josephine Garrett (@sr_josephine). Incline your ear to Gloria Purvis (@iamgloriapurvis) and Ike Ndolo (@ikendolo).
It’s disappointing when I ask conferences, organizations, and ministries about having more BIPOC speakers, musicians, board members, missionaries, etc. (and more women too!) and the response is that they don’t want to seem like they’re virtue-signaling, or that they would love to have more BIPOC but they’re not just going to bring anyone to the table.
In recommending White men and women for ministry opportunities, I am rarely questioned about their orthodoxy or giftedness but my words are taken at face value. In recommending BIPOC, there are often many questions regarding their loyalty to the Church, their personal virtues, and abilities. There seems to be more fear of being labeled as “virtue-signaling” and “pandering” than a true desire to recognize the contributions of People of Color and see the body of Christ represented as it truly is.
That being said, there are also a plethora of conferences, organizations, ministries and individuals who have taken the past few months to reflect on acknowledging their biases and shortcomings, asking for forgiveness, and are working towards learning, healing, and repairing relationships with the communities that they serve and the people work beside.
Humility goes a long way!
People have either asked me to stop talking about racism, passive-aggressively threatened me to “be careful,” and have told me that I’m becoming too liberal. Racism is a pro-life issue, not a partisan political one, and it requires many voices to shout, “Repent and believe in the gospel” (Mark 1:15)! It speaks to the purity of our hearts when we are able to hear or see instances of racism and instead of trying to justify it, we stand up against it. When I, or others, have brought up the lack of representation at conferences, leadership teams, boards or committees, the need is usually acknowledged but quickly dismissed. But praise be to God that there are many courageous men and women who are not backing down from these conversations and, out of love for the Church, are working for change. The sin of racism, especially in the Church, must be exposed to the light of the Holy Spirit for cleansing, repentance, and reparation.
What’s something you wish Catholic women knew about racism already that they may not know currently?
More specifically, I wish that non-BIPOC understood that kindness does not negate racist or discriminatory over/undertones. A video comes to mind of a Filipino man who painted a sign in support of Black Lives when a White man and woman approached him and asked if he lived at that house and why he was in the neighborhood. Her voice was “gentle,” yet condescending. Her tone was even, but rife with threats. It was obvious that she didn’t think he belonged in her neighborhood and said as much. She demanded that he explain himself to her, told him that the way he was expressing his solidarity was illegal and wrong, lied and said that she knew for a fact that he didn’t live in his home of eighteen years, and eventually called the police. All while smiling and keeping her tone angelic.
I have heard some of my Catholic friends and acquaintances say awful things under the guise of a smile and it’s shocking. I understand that some things are said out of ignorance but other times I’m not so sure. I pray that there can be more intentionality with words and actions as well as mindfulness of how women of color receive those words and actions.
Not all women will react the same, but if someone has the courage to share their hurt with you, please don’t brush them off or make the situation about you. Acknowledge and ask for forgiveness.
How has your faith helped you work through your experiences of racism?
After having a back-and-forward text exchange with a very dear friend, she concluded a message to me with a passive-aggressive threat to be careful about what I say and to make sure I was not leading people astray when bringing up areas of duplicitous actions from Catholics. It stunned me! With years of friendship, knowledge of me and my prayer life, and multiple invitations to speak to the teens at her parish, why would talking about racism suddenly turn me into someone who would lead people astray?
Some time after that conversation, I sat down to FaceTime a friend who is a White male, to talk about George Floyd, systemic racism, and my personal experiences. After sharing with him my many experiences of racism, he tried to discredit or reframe just about everything that I shared. At the end of our conversation, he asked, “So how much of racism is a self-inflicted wound?”
The ability to hear actual lived experiences of racism and think that the one to whom it is geared towards is the cause of it is a form of manipulation that strikes at identity. Although I am not my experiences, they have shaped and formed a part of my life. To deny them is a common tactic to keep BIPOC from sharing their stories. To this day it is still one of the most privileged questions I’ve ever been asked. Instead of looking at the history of America and acknowledging that personal/individual and systemic racism is real and still exists, he directed the fault back to me.
After these two conversations and a few others, I started to develop major anxiety that left me in a state of nervousness that maybe I was wrong about everything and that God didn’t want me to talk about racism anymore. I stepped away from social media for a few weeks and even slowed down my ministry as an evangelist. I prayed that the Lord would keep me small and hidden in His sacred heart and speak truth to me so that if I was speaking falsely, I could repent and stop.
At first, I felt like I was disappointing my brothers and sisters of color and being a coward by running away from the tension of hard conversations and tough anti-racism work; but after speaking to a priest who encouraged me to ask Jesus if I was being a coward, I realized that taking care of my spiritual, mental, and physical health was an act of courage.
When I listened to Jesus, I knew that these two conversations, though coming from well-intentioned people, were plain wrong.
Those weeks of intensified prayer allowed me to gaze upon the face of Jesus and reconnect with my first Love who created me out of love, to be love, loved, and to love. He not only reminded me of my mission to evangelize all people, but He also reminded me of who I was and Who He is!
What advice would you give to young Catholic women of color who have been wounded by the sin of racism?
Oh, sweet sisters, you matter! Your experiences matter, too. You are also more than your experiences; you are the Beloved Daughter of the Most High King! These situations may shape you, but let them conform you into another Christ, who loves, corrects, and helps transform.
Please don’t let anyone succeed in distorting the image of beauty and light that God created you to be! The best way to do that is to be women of prayer who are steeped in the heart of Jesus. When we are in a committed relationship with Jesus that includes reading and meditating on scripture and listening and speaking to Him daily, we are able to hear His voice above the lies that try to treat us outside of our God-given dignity. We are strengthened to stand in solidarity with our brothers and sisters who fight with us for justice and equity. We speak with clarity and amplify the voices that others try to silence. We become alive in our talents and use them for God’s glory. We become open to the graces of God and share the charisms, gifts, and fruits of the Holy Spirit for the benefit of our communities. We become emboldened to be more like Christ and thus become more ourselves and show each other and the world why Black lives are sacred.
Don’t let Satan take your voice or energy. Know yourself and take time to be refreshed by the Lord. Laugh! Check in with the people who genuinely love you and care about you. Stay close to our Blessed Mother. Journal your honest feelings. Be angry but don’t let it cause you to sin. Remember that God has imbued you with your own set of skills, talents and gifts and you don’t need to act, talk, read or respond like anyone else but yourself. Give yourself time to grow. Learn to stand up and care about yourself and others. Finally, remember that you are the Church! Don’t leave, rather, help lead.
What is your hope for the future?
As of now, I have two intelligent and beautiful nieces and two intelligent and handsome nephews. I want them to be deeply in love with Christ and His Church and see themselves represented in the body of Christ. I want them to be sisters or priests, disciples and evangelists, lovers of the Lord and His people. I truly believe that we can be what Christ calls us to be: ONE! It is a lofty goal but not impossible. My prayer and hope for the future is that we humble ourselves before the Lord, repent, and work towards unity and faithfulness so as to walk together into Eternity.
This interview was compiled and edited by Amelia Arth.