A Student's Path to Purity of Heart
Interview with Laurie Medina
From our Cultivating Purity of Heart Series
Photo by Priscilla-Du-Preez
“Being pure of heart means welcoming God’s desires and will for our lives, and it takes a strong woman of virtue to cultivate a spirit of receptivity within her so that she can be united with Him in all things.”
About the Writer: Laurie Medina is a graduate of Texas A&M University and a first-year participant in the Echo Graduate Service program. She loves spending time outside, getting creative, having heart conversations over coffee, and finding beauty in the holy ordinary. You can also find her on Instagram @wrappedinhermantle or read her latest contributions for Life Teen on their website.
The Interview:
In Matthew 5, we’re told that “blessed are the pure of heart, for they will see God.” So, to be pure of heart must mean to be like God, and thus our most authentic selves — totally free of that which prevents us from completely embracing God and permeating His life into our own. What does cultivating a pure heart in your life look like?
I think for most people when they think of growing in purity, given the world and culture in which we live, they immediately think of the sensual, physical part -- which is for sure a huge piece. But being pure of heart encompasses so much more than that. To be our most authentic selves and totally free means being fully present to our current reality, and to be rooted in the truth found there. Being pure of heart, for me, means to see all things as God sees them -- in the present.
In my current reality as a young single person, this can be especially difficult. As I’ve grown to be more self-aware, I know what parts of my heart needed to be guarded and can do what I need to do to grow. For me, it is a daily choice to strive for purity, and quite frankly, it is not easy. Just as with any virtue, it has to be fought for and wrestled with. It’s a constant battle to keep my interior freedom intact, but choosing a life a purity requires doing the work!
Cultivating a pure heart for me looks like constantly fighting to stay present to where I am and to what the Lord is asking me to do at any given moment -- being true to my current vocation, living into my season of ‘waiting’ as a journey of becoming, and allowing myself to rest in my identity as Beloved Daughter. Sometimes it looks like actively stopping myself at the moment and reorienting myself to what the Father would want me to do or say or think -- as opposed to grasping for what is not mine or growing restless and impatient on the journey. Way easier said than done most days! I need the help of my friends on the journey, and the saints’ constant intercession.
What saint or person in your life helps you grow in your understanding of what it means to be pure of heart? How do they encourage you to pursue this yourself?
I look to many saints for their example and intercession, and this year I’ve been growing in special devotion to St. Joseph as I’ve been preparing to make a total act of consecration to Jesus through him. St. Joseph has been huge in redefining purity of heart and healing my misguided understandings of what it means to be pure of heart.
There are a few close friends who have been huge for me, but I would say that my spiritual director plays a vital role in my understanding of purity and how I can grow in it. As a religious sister, she herself lives out her vocation in a vow of chastity, but of course, nevertheless knows and understands the depths of human experience. It has been so beautiful to grow in relationship with her over the years; she has seen me plainly in so many different areas of my life over time and has a good read on how I operate, which is so freeing. She journeys with me well and is able to put a mirror to my face, so to speak, so that I can see myself and the interior movements of my heart more clearly. She encourages me to be gentle with myself and to always remember that I am under the gaze of the Heavenly Father, who knows and sees my deepest aches and longings.
What prompted this journey and how has it been since you consciously began it? What has been most difficult about it?
Without going too deeply into my own personal traumas and wounds, I would say that I have spent most of my life struggling with purity, and am still in the thick of healing in a lot of ways. But I think it has been more so in the past three years that I have consciously begun to pursue purity of heart. I had just broken off a serious relationship that wounded me in more ways than one, and it truly was an opportunity for me to start over. I realize now that there was a lot wrong with that relationship, but as I was living it, I made excuses for him even though I knew on some level that he was not guarding my heart. After I finally worked up the courage to end it, it was like the veil was torn and I could see everything for what it really was. What was most difficult was realizing just how deep my wounds were, and it was so painful to be woken up with that reality. In the healing process (which, let’s be real - never ends!), it was so hard to be faced with my own brokenness and realize the depth of hurt I had endured - but what was more painful was being faced with how the Lord saw it all. It is so beautiful, though, to recognize His gaze and His purpose in all of it, however hard it may be.
Photo by Annie Spratt
How has this journey transformed your spiritual life and relationships with others?
In the last few months, I have been recognizing more and more than my journey with purity of heart is only just beginning as I’ve been navigating this new season of life. Once, I shared with my spiritual director how I was feeling very frustrated with myself as I noticed just how much of my mental space (and my prayer) centered around relationships with men. I felt like I was constantly talking to the Lord about this guy or that guy, and I had noticed that it had honestly become a problem in that anytime I met a guy, my thoughts would jump ahead to wondering if he’s dateable. For many single women, it is easy to fall into that cycle; I know a lot of my friends are the same way! And for me, being a hopeless romantic and the imaginative type, it is especially easy for me to forget my current reality -- so much so that I often have to reign myself in. I told her all of this and she sort of just chuckled and reassured me that I am human, so it’s bound to happen. But I’ll never forget what she told me. She said, “Laurie, to be pure of heart means to see things as God sees them - just as they are. Plain and simple. God does not see you for anything more or less than the fullness of who you are, right now. So, to be pure of heart means to be rooted in your present reality.”
It means that instead of wrestling with the Lord in prayer over a particular situation or obsessing over my relationship with a particular person, I made the decision to stop. I told myself that I would no longer waste my time imagining or grasping or demanding an answer from the Lord. I decided fast from asking the Lord for signs. I told myself that I would only pray over those things if the Lord himself wanted me to. And sure enough, the weeks following I felt freer and more at peace than I had in a long time. I was realizing that the Lord only ever asks one thing from us at a time, and that His ways are slow and gentle. My tendency to rush Him for results was setting me up to fail. I needed to become a contemplative-in-action; to slow down and be present to each moment and each relationship as it is right now, plain and simple.
Why do you think purity of heart is important for other women to intentionally seek themselves?
If being pure of heart is practicing the virtue of being rooted in the present moment and seeing all things the way God sees them, then that requires from us a willingness to lean into our current reality. I’m finding that life isn’t so much about who we will be or when, or what we will become. It’s about the little ordinary things we do every day to better ourselves and to incline our ears to the voice of our Shepherd so that we can better hear Him when he tells us to move. Being pure of heart means welcoming God’s desires and will for our lives, and it takes a strong woman of virtue to cultivate a spirit of receptivity within her so that she can be united with Him in all things.
I think it’s important for us as women, regardless of vocation or stage in life, to learn how to rest. For young women who are still in the midst of discerning their vocation, it’s easy to confuse a “season of waiting” with waiting around, and “being still” with standing still. Too often we get stuck in the waiting room instead of living our best, most authentic lives now. Life won’t start when we’re no longer single or once we move to a new city or start a new job or when you hit a goal. Life isn’t only exciting or beautiful if or when. While yes we may be still waiting for many things in life to unfold, that’s no excuse to not live fully alive now. It’s all about realizing that God is already making you new. He’s already made His Promises. He’s working slowly every day to fulfill them! So what are we doing as Daughters on our end?