Finding Myself in My Relationship with God

Interview with Mary Peters

Part Four from our “Freedom from Comparison” Series

Photo by Ellieelien

Introduction

We are beloved. There is nothing we can do to earn or lose this inherent truth. However, it can be difficult to live this truth in our daily lives –especially in a world filled with ever new and constant demands and influences that require so much of us, to be more: more accomplished, more fit, more popular. In fact, sometimes, we’ll look up and find ourselves stuck in the false reality we have created for ourselves instead of living into the belovedness He desires for us. 

Whether we’re trying to lose weight, be noticed for our Instagram posts, or make it look like we have a perfectly fulfilling life, we’re constantly striving to be “better,” when we should be aspiring to be made whole. 

When comparison strikes, we limit our capacity to engage our belovedness –to love and to be loved. We cannot give of ourselves when we fail to recognize who we are. Likewise, we cannot fully receive the gift of another. We pray these interviews help bring you into an ongoing conversation about a very familiar issue. Freedom from comparison can be a lifelong battle for many of us, but in spending our lives remembering who God is to us, He’ll remind us who we are to Him.

Interview with Kaitlyn

Mary Peters was born and raised in Ann Arbor, Michigan. She graduated from the University of Dallas in 2019 with a Bachelors of Arts in History and Minor in Business. She is a die hard Detroit Lions fan and loves ice cream more than life itself. She can quote any Spongebob episode and has most likely watched every single romcom out there. Her favorite saint is Blessed Father Solanus Casey and the St. Anne Novena is her favorite prayer.

It’s safe to say that our own wounds and insecurities may, from time to time, springboard us into the world of envy and comparison. What is your experience with this? What role has social media played in it all?

In my experience, comparing myself to others has been an exhausting pursuit that has left me feeling void of everything that makes me unique. 

While my insecurities and social media, at times, have left me feeling ungrateful for the many wonderful things in my life, there’s a beauty in it too. Every time I see a photo of a newborn baby, a friend who just graduated/or got promoted, or wedding photos of life long lovers, I am reminded that God wants my life to be filled with these breathtaking/joyful moments—rejoice in the successes of others, but also acknowledge the beauty taking place in my own life in unique ways. It encourages me to reflect on my own life and find those moments and challenges me to pursue more. 

How has/does your Faith help(ed) you encounter this part of yourself and overcome your skewed perception of them? 

It's easy to go down the rabbit hole of focusing on an insecurity or weakness I find in myself. However, I find that my faith acts as my anchor. It keeps me grounded in the truth that I am loved, I am enough, and I am pursued just as I am. 

Talk a little bit about the need to have good and holy friendships that allow both parties to celebrate the other’s gifts, talents, and successes. 

Although it wasn’t the case throughout most of my primary school years, I was blessed with an amazing friend group in college, and with whom I am still friends with today (better late than never!). They are trustworthy, holy women and I was able to become vulnerable with them. We shared our successes and failures. Because I know their hardships/insecurities I am able to see how huge and important their successes are (and celebrate with them). I’ve also discovered that long lasting friendships are made when you surround yourself with people whose strengths are your weaknesses. My friends have made me a better person by challenging me to confront my failings and transforming them into strengths.

What is your experience with friendships that both lacked and flourished in this area? What did you learn in going through them? How evident was the Lord’s pursuit of your heart in them and how did His presence make these experiences worth it? 

I, unfortunately, had terrible friendships in high school. These friendships never celebrated our talents or uniqueness as individuals. Instead, through envy and comparison, these friends would strive to turn each other’s talents/gifts into insecurities/weaknesses. We never valued each other for who we were, because we always wanted everyone to be the exact same so that no one would shine brighter than the others (terrible, I know). 

When I finally found good friendships, I genuinely rejoiced in seeing my friends shine. I learned more about sacrificial love and relying on your friends to help you out in times of need instead of just yourself. When I started to build up the women around me, I was able to celebrate with them when they accomplished a milestone or something they were anxious about. 

It was only after graduating high school that I realized that God had not abandoned me throughout those four years. Although hidden, He was actually there all along. However, He must have agreed with me in feeling that I needed a fresh start, otherwise I probably wouldn’t have been shipped to attend a university that was halfway across the country. While this was the biggest and scariest thing I had done, I had a lot of peace in my decision. I truly believe that God not only guided me there to find new and holy friendships, but so that I could partake in rebuilding my relationship with Him in light of my previous relationships and the new ones to come. I needed to experience and grow with Him in an environment that supported it and allowed my life thus far to come full circle. In the past, I realized everything He is not, and thus does not desire for me. At that point and on, I began to realize everything He is and continues to invite me into. 

How has accepting or coming to more greatly understand that our belovedness is an inherent reality of who we are, is something that we could never earn nor lose, changed your life? How has it directly affected your relationship with God, as well as how you encounter both yourself and others?

All the time I could have spent worrying about my insecurities are spent on pursuing God’s call for my life and enjoying the little moments that are hidden and unique to my heart. Also, when I realized how God saw me, it changed how I treated/saw other people. When you see them as beloved by God you hold your tongue when they cut you off on the highway, you refrain from speaking ill, and you celebrate in their success without measuring it against your own. 

I ask God for advice way more now than I ever have because I realized that he knew me better than I even know myself. He knows what my deepest desires and fears are. Not only has developing a relationship with God helped me better serve others and deepen my love, but it has also taught me a lot about myself as an individual. I find more of myself in God than I could have without him.

This interview was compiled and edited by Ashley Hinojosa