Help My Unbelief
Interview Series
Photographer: Blake Cheek
Series Introduction
“I do believe, help my unbelief.” These words are spoken in Mark’s gospel (Mark 9:24) by a father pleading with Jesus to heal his son. Jesus honors the man’s faith by answering his prayer. Despite Jesus’ loving response to this father’s honest prayer, how often are we afraid to admit to our unbelief? We may fear that our doubts somehow make us less worthy of coming to our Lord, ashamed of our own failings. The Church recognizes this struggle, saying “we perceive God as ‘in a mirror, dimly’ and only ‘in part’. Even though enlightened by him in whom it believes, faith is often lived in darkness and can be put to the test. The world we live in often seems very far from the one promised us by faith. Our experiences of evil and suffering, injustice and death, seem to contradict the Good News; they can shake our faith and become a temptation against it” (CCC, 165).
We can take comfort in knowing that unbelief is not a failure on our part but a very real experience of a life lived in faith. All that Jesus asks of us in the midst of unbelief is that we come to him, as the father in Mark’s gospel, let Him care for us, for He is the “pioneer and perfecter of our faith” (CCC, 165). In this series, women will talk about their experience of unbelief, where they found hope in spite of doubt, and how Jesus drew them closer to Himself in the midst of it.
This interview series was compiled and edited by Michelle Rash
Part I:
Comfort for an Anxious Heart
Interview with Lizzie Gross
The areas where we struggle to hold fast to faith can blind us to how God sees us and what good things He has for us. Lizzie shares how her struggle with anxiety became an obstacle to her trust in the Lord and the ways that He loved her through and through.
“I find it very helpful to look back at my life and call to mind times when God showed himself to be trustworthy and did not abandon me. For every time I have experienced unbelief God has come close to me, reassured me and given me strength for the next moment, my faith is strengthened and I have another reason for trust. I find hope in the journey He has already brought me on, as well as the stories of others and the example of holy men and women who have persevered in faith.” -Lizzie Gross
Part II
An Unbelief Built on Pride
Interview with Tiffany Bowling
Pride is so often at the root of our unbelief, daring us to rely on our own efforts and achievements to earn God’s graces. As we lean in to self-reliance, though, we only lean further away from the outstretched hand of our Lord. Tiffany shares her journey towards recognizing the ever-present, unconditional love of God which leaves no room for us to cling to our pride.
“In my lack of understanding, I assigned the voice of God as accusatory, so in my lackluster attempts to read the bible, His tone never quite sat right with me. I read it as though I was failing to live up to His standards. I believed He was calling me out for what I’d done or not done, and impatiently waiting for me to figure out how to be the better person He’d intended. I knew this to be contradictory to what others told me of Him, but couldn’t bring myself to question my own perspective.” - Tiffany Bowling
Part III
The Wanderer’s Return
Interview with Gaby Quillan
In the face of uncertainty, we may choose to set off on our own. God’s call for patience or trust may seem too burdensome in our questioning and we would rather seek answers alone. We confuse self-reliance with freedom, but soon find just how limited our reach is without Him. Yet no matter how far we wander, God remains ready to welcome us back to Himself. Gaby’s testimony reveals God’s constant pursuit of our heart even when it is wrought with unbelief.
“I think at the core of my unbelief was a deep fear that if I ascended to faith, that people would perceive me as weak. I feared that opening myself up to faith would mean that I was to just go along with all the other sheep, that my opinion and desires and self would have no place and no value. So I would relate to God in a defensive way. ‘I'll believe in you, but only so much, cause I still need to be in control.’” -Gaby Quillan