Letter from Rachel Harkins Ullmann

Dear Catholic female leader,

Do you feel called to leadership? I realized my capacity for leadership when I was 16 years old. The Lord made it very clear to me at a Catholic leadership training program called “Young Apostles” the summer before my senior year of high school.

Prior to this leadership program, I had been insecure, unsure of my own gifts, and sought to please others. Ultimately, I was hiding from God’s will for my life. But some inkling of the Holy Spirit inspired me to sign up for this program, despite it being outside of my comfort zone. While there, I went to confession. After my absolution, the priest lifted his hands off of my head and said, “Rachel, I had a vision. You were hiding behind a rosebush and the Lord is asking you to step out from behind, and to become a big, bright rose on the front of the bush.” That moment changed my life.

I listened to the call and responded. As a student, I started taking risks and accepting leadership roles, growing into who God made me to be. These were small steps toward a life of leadership. Even as I continued to grow in confidence as a leader throughout college, I longed for a mentor to assist me in the next decade of transition after my graduation.

As a woman in the workforce, and especially a Catholic woman, I didn’t have many mentors in my immediate circle who faced the challenges I did. The women in my family were not traditional career women, and beyond the teachers I had in Catholic school, I had no one else to model best practices in female leadership in the workforce.

Starting off in very low-paying jobs in Catholic education, I soon realized that I would not assume a leadership role or even be able to afford my own home without furthering my education. Going to graduate school at a secular university was the answer! Being surrounded by other ambitious, career-driven peers was an environment that helped me to thrive. I felt that my classmates and I were all working towards a common purpose to not only make our own lives better, but also to better the world.

With a Master’s degree in hand, I was ready to assume leadership! Put me in, coach! And while I landed my first management role, my husband and I found out that we were expecting our first child. When I told my employer that I was expecting, he dropped his drink and said, “What did I do wrong?” I suppose his reaction was due to the fact that we had recently launched some major initiatives that I was leading. Still to this day, I can’t believe that happened and I’m proud of myself for not bursting into tears and running out of the room. My feminine strength and resilience shined in that moment.

At the same time, another manager responded with great encouragement and discussed ways she would hire a temp to cover my time on maternity leave. She even shared personal experiences of when she gave birth to her youngest while serving as principal of an elite school and how she managed a work-life balance. If she hadn’t championed for me in those ways, my career might have halted in that intense moment of insecurity. Finally, I had found my mentor.

Although I had a mentor, the day-to-day still wasn’t easy. My next phase of life as a Catholic professional and as a mother was challenging. I made lots of career choices that put my family first, but still gave me the ability to pursue leadership roles. However, a colleague told me that taking a job closer to home was a huge step down in my career path and questioned my motives. My desire for a more flexible schedule and to be closer to my children baffled her.

In another instance, I had been warned by a colleague that my “track-record” of hopping around was going to prevent me from gaining a significant leadership role. My decisions for jobs based on my family’s needs had placed a blackmark on my resume for future offers. And he wasn’t wrong, because I was once asked in an interview for the role as a principal of a Catholic school, “Well where are you going to go next? Is this just a stepping stone for you? How will you be able to handle the job with two young children?”

These experiences and many others throughout my career (such as being denied a lactation room) have etched on my heart the need for our society to be more supportive of working mothers. And the Catholic Church can and should be the exemplar in this regard. Policies such as paid parental leave, flexible work arrangements, and childcare support are steps toward creating a more equitable society and the opportunity for women to succeed in leadership roles.

I share all of this with you in an effort to give witness to my scrappy way of fumbling through a career path while balancing my responsibilities as a mother. Because no woman ever wants to feel like she’s a bad mother. No woman ever wants to lose precious time with her kids; however, how do you do that in an environment that is not flexible and doesn’t lend itself to supporting working mothers? My answer is to challenge the status quo! None of those circumstances were easy, or pleasant. I have the battle scars to prove it.

However, now as I sit and write this letter I can hear the soft sounds of my third child in the background. Today, I serve as the Executive Director of The GIVEN Institute which has ultimately fulfilled so many desires and longings of my heart while simultaneously furthering God’s kingdom. I have a home office, I make my own schedule, and I have built up the network of support to be able to hire the childcare that meets my needs. So many women are not in this position and I realize that it is a position of privilege, but it did not come without hard work and a lot of prayer. When I was told in my job offer for The GIVEN Institute that I was hired because of my motherhood, I felt a flood of emotions in a moment that I will never forget. I thank the Board of Directors over and over again for affirming me in my motherhood because even though I have worked for the Church my entire career, not until this point have I truly felt supported and embraced for who I am as a mother.

I have always relied on my relationship with the Lord as my guiding strength in career decisions and facing difficult conversations in the workplace. When you receive the peace that surpasses all understanding, you know you are following the Lord’s will. And you also need the humility to be able to walk away from a situation that will not encourage your holiness or a healthy lifestyle at home.

I also must give credit to praying the rosary and asking the Blessed Mother for guidance as a woman in leadership. Being that she accepted the most difficult and influential job description of all time, the mother of God, she is the perfect mentor. Women leaders are needed in the Church and in the world. We as women need to rise up and share our gifts with the wider culture, not at the expense of our womanhood, but because of it! I encourage you to pray for the courage of Catholic female leaders such as Queen Esther, St. Joan of Arc, and of course the Blessed Mother, who all bravely challenged the status quo to further God’s kingdom and fulfill the desires of their hearts.

In Christ,
Rachel Harkins Ullmann

Photo of Rachel Harkins Ullmann

About the Writer: Rachel serves as the Executive Director of The GIVEN Institute, a not-for-profit organization that seeks to activate the gifts of young adult women for the Church and for the world. Rachel worked in the Archdiocese of Baltimore for over twelve years supporting parishes and schools with their advancement efforts. She is a graduate of Franciscan University of Steubenville, where she majored in Theology and Catechetics and obtained her Masters in Education Administration from Johns Hopkins University. Rachel is a harpist and has traveled to Australia, Israel, and all over Europe (favorite cities being Rome, Lourdes, and Fatima). Her greatest source of joy is her husband Tony and her children, Evangeline, Cooper, and Theodore.