Letter from Mary Grace Aguinaldo

Dear friend,

In the summer of 2004, I was sitting on a park bench with a view of the city’s skyline across from me, and these words filled my heart: “If not you, who? If not now, when?”

Our youth ministry was conducting an “Amazing Race” for our youth volunteers, and as one of the organizers, that park bench was my assigned spot in the activity. It may have seemed like all fun and games then, but I look back and I could see that God was at work as He quietly stirred my heart, asking me to ponder His words more deeply while I discerned for the next chapter in my life.

I had just graduated from university with a lot of questions about my future, and I was also healing from a broken relationship that had lasted for years, yet I found myself being called to serve and accepted more leadership roles in the youth ministry that I had grown up in. As a Psychology major, I envisioned a career that would allow me to help others, specifically young people, in their development. I remember attending interviews for positions in the social work field, but those jobs never “felt right.” Months passed and I continued to say “yes” to opportunities such as leading youth retreats and going on mission trips with other youth volunteers.

It was during a fall retreat for young leaders, where I was serving as part of a praise and worship band, when everything became clear to me. The theme for that retreat was “Duc in Altum” and I knew that God was calling me, just like He called Peter, to “cast out into the deep.” There were tears –– lots and lots of tears –– as I started to unpack what all of this could mean.

A month later, after continuous prayer and seeking counsel from spiritual mentors, I decided to pursue the opportunity to become a missionary for the Catholic lay organization that was part of my youth ministry. I was filled with a lot of doubt and fear, yet the moment I said “yes” to the Lord, there was also an overwhelming sense of hope and peace.

I was a lay missionary for five years, and in that time, God opened my eyes and my heart as I interacted with youth and their families in a parish, school, and community setting. I served as a youth pastoral mission worker for Couples for Christ and its Family Ministries. In this role, I especially enjoyed getting to know other young women and committed myself to building up a sisterhood by establishing genuine friendships with them.

One of my favorite retreats was called a Youth Discovery Camp. Part of my role involved mentoring young leaders and training volunteers to deliver talks, organize discussion groups, and facilitate workshops. Usually, at the start of these weekend retreats, I encountered young teenagers who were shy and, at times, even unwilling to participate in the activities. Through the course of the weekend, I witnessed amazing transformation in both the young participants and the volunteer team members who served in various capacities. The core message for that retreat was one of Stewardship and allowing the youth to discover their God-given talents and to consider ways to give the glory back to God upon discovering those talents. A big highlight for the weekend was the Talent Show where a full production would be presented and it always blew me away how every single young person, in their own ways, was able to shine. I was confident in God’s presence and that the Holy Spirit was truly at work in the lives of our youth.

God continued to provide opportunities for me to grow in leadership as I helped organize more events, big and small –– from local youth retreats to national youth conferences. God further challenged me by taking me out of my comfort zone and placing me in various cities all across the country to help spread the Good News. Oftentimes, I would find myself being drawn to roles that allowed me to get to know the young people better. It was during those moments of community building and fellowship, that I felt God was working through me. I grew more and more in love with Christ, and He allowed me to fall deeper in love with His people too.

One of the biggest lessons that I learned was about “loving correction.” During my time of brokenness prior to becoming a lay missionary, I vividly recall my youth leader rallying my peers to look out for me. Out of their love for me, they did everything they could to help me stay away from the unhealthy relationship that I kept falling back into. Surprisingly, I welcomed this intervention from my friends as they reminded me that I was worth more, and that I deserved lasting joy instead of fleeting happiness. I knew in my heart I needed to turn away from sin and all lustful behavior. Healing from that brokenness took a long time, but God never failed to show His mercy to me in my darkest of hours. Even though it was a painful time in my life, I am grateful for the love they showed me through brotherly and sisterly correction.

Years later, it was my turn to provide that same loving correction to other young women. I sat in a coffee shop having a one-on-one conversation with a young woman who shared a similar story as me. I listened as she poured her heart out, expressing feelings of guilt and shame. I assured her that she was still loved by an amazing and merciful God despite all her wrongdoings. I told her I understood her, then prayed with her, and encouraged her to turn away from her sin. We also put a plan in place where I told her to think of a code word and that she could text me that code word every time she found herself needing support through prayers. After some time, that young woman was also able to end her relationship, and she continued to serve for many years as a leader in our youth ministry.

Fast forward to today, as a 38-year old mother of three beautiful daughters, I jokingly tell God that it all makes sense now –– that He allowed me to meet so many incredible, young women in ministry because He was preparing me to have a “little sisterhood” of my own. My husband and I continue to be a part of the same Catholic lay organization, but this time as a married couple with the chance to share our lives alongside those on this married journey as well. Life gets pretty hectic at times especially when you have a kindergartner, a preschooler, and a very active toddler, but I’ve learned that God doesn’t stop calling us to serve.

I realize that God is calling me right now, at this very moment, to embrace the vocation of marriage and motherhood, with all the doubt and fear that accompanies it. God continues to challenge me to share my faith as I homeschool our girls and, with my husband, promise to do our best and bring them up in the ways of our Lord.

Are you at a place where your heart is being gently stirred or even visibly shaken in order to make a difference? Have you felt the desire to give your “fiat” and say “yes” to serving, even if it means sacrificing some parts of your life right now? While it may seem like a confusing and even scary path, I encourage you to spend time in reflection and prayer. If necessary, reach out to trusted individuals for spiritual guidance. Most importantly, have faith that God will provide you with the direction that you seek.

May God bless you abundantly, beautiful sister, with the clarity and peace that comes from deciding to serve Him and His people!

Your sister in Christ,
Grace

Photo of Mary Kate

About the Writer: Grace is a stay-at-home-work-from-home-homeschooling mama of 3 adorable girls. She and her husband have been married for 6 years and their little family lives in Southern California. They are actively involved in the Catholic lay organization, Couples for Christ. Grace enjoys planning out fun, simple ways for their family to experience liturgical living, loves video chats with her family from Canada and on occasion, indulges in Target runs for the alone time.