Making Space for Silence
Letter from Cynthia Riley
Photo by Chelsey Shortman
Dear Sisters,
After 55 years, I had hit a wall. I was so uncomfortable with the chaos and craziness around me – I had lost my usual sense of peace and calm. Something was stirring inside me, drawing me away from my usual way of life.
We live in a time where so many are seeking satisfaction, something more, but are unable to put a finger on what is missing, and I was feeling this in a major way. It was shortly after marrying my husband that I began to take notice that my habits and my life were all geared toward productivity and keeping on top of everything. Perhaps it was a mini-life crisis or natural evolution, either way, it led me down a path to block out the noise in my life.
After settling into this new marriage and catching my breath, I began noticing that my life was geared toward productivity. I craved stillness, silence, to just be.
It started when a friend told me about a silent retreat he attended. I was curious to learn more, so I signed up. I met with the spiritual director who explained that many people experience discomfort in the silence, and can tolerate it for only an hour before turning to some kind of distraction. Living in busyness, spending limitless time on social media, and working too much can diminish our spirit and steal our goodness and joy. They mask our loneliness and keep us from tapping into the source for which we long to rest. After a brief tour of the retreat facilities, I was shown to my room where I could rest, read, and start my journey.
It was clear I was craving silence. It felt so good just to be. I remember sitting in the retreat chapel looking at the beautiful stained glass windows and feeling a weight lift off my shoulders. The stillness was like a salve to my weary soul. The time flew as I wandered around campus, walking the labyrinth, and meditating on the various icons and points of beauty. I listened in the silence and meditated on what I heard. I knew then that I was being called to spend more time in prayer and in silence. I asked, “God, how can I spend more time with you when there aren’t enough hours a day to accomplish everything I need to do already?”
Growing up in a pretty dysfunctional home where I was left to raise myself, I bought into the messages like work harder, make money, buy things, create more experiences. This shaped my understanding of what success should look like. Being the overachiever, it was easy for me to leave home after high school, go to college, and never look back. I was on my way to what I thought was the perfect life: husband, kids, career… I thought I could have it all. I thought that by achieving my dream of a perfect life I could avoid any pain or discomfort.
My silent retreat provided the nudge to send me on the path of small steps to do things differently and reprioritize my days and ultimately my life. It started while in the car. I would turn off the radio and drive in silence, being fully present, and noticing the world around me. I began saying the rosary, noticing a rainbow, or sending blessings to the driver who cut me off. I found more than an hour a day to spend in silence and communion with God. My weary soul started to recharge and be soothed rather than beat up and overwhelmed. I shifted my strategy to seek out the news and information I need to stay informed on my terms rather than feed into the addictive, anxiety-provoking loop I was in before.
This small decision to create more space for silence was a big shift for me. I am more grateful. Every morning as I open my eyes, I thank God for another day of life on this earth and invite the Spirit to help order my day. I am opening my heart in ways I never thought possible.
It was in the silence I have been able to determine my heart’s desires, bring them to prayer, and see the gifts unfold. This daily practice has become a habit and through this surrender, I’m able to see God’s goodness surround me, even in the middle of suffering and challenges. The silence nurtures my relationship with Christ allowing me to hear His gentle voice guiding me on the right path.
“He must increase; I must decrease.” --John 3:30 (NAB)
His word affirms His greatness and His goodness in my heart. Little by little, I have been given the grace to feel His bigness and trust His plan for me.
Handwritten quote from the writer
A lot of my life has not worked out the way I thought it would, but every time it has brought me down the path of strengthening my faith and relationship with Christ. I’ve been given what I need. Having this assurance helps me appreciate the seasons of my life. Through my time in silence, I have the peace of mind and heart knowing this is where I need to be right now. It’s all in God’s plan.
By sitting in the classroom of silence and hearing the gentle whisper of God, I am confident in His truth and purpose for me. We are all called to be saints and shine a light into the darkness. It can all start by blocking out the noise.
Smitten with God’s Goodness,
Cynthia
About the Writer: Cynthia Riley is a wife, mother, CiCi, sister and friend who is seeking to live God’s love in her life in Houston, Texas. Taking a break from a successful 32 year career in philanthropy, you can find her shining a light on truth and goodness, building a community focused on God’s promises and directing curious hearts to resources to grow into who we were created to be at www.SmittenWithGoodness.com. She loves a strong cup of Italian Roast, needlepoint, birdwatching, nature walks and spontaneous dance parties when she's not connecting with family and friends or on the yoga mat.
To download a free wallpaper inspired by Cynthia’s letter, visit our new wallpaper collection.
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For Your Reflection:
Pray about it: Spend some time in silence, let your soul rest.
Write about it: What are some of the ways your understanding of success has been shaped? How would your understanding of success change if you spent more time in silence, and less time doing?
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