Finding Home: Trusting in God as an Iraqi Refugee
Letter from Rita Ziza
Photo by Chelsey Shortman
Dear sisters,
I have been following this wonderful community of Catholic women for a long time. I’ve felt heard, understood, and comforted by so many letters that, at times, I felt like I was looking in the mirror as I read them. However, I never quite knew what my letter would be about. In fact, this letter has been three years in the making. Three of the reasons for its delay are the following: I was overwhelmed with starting a new full-time job right after college graduation, slowly learning English (my third language), and trying to figure out what my vocation is in life.
For most of my life, I experienced unexpected and difficult trials that left me with hurts, fears, and growing pains that almost crippled me at times. But God carried and protected me through it all and that is what I want to share with you.
I want to share the way God’s mercy and patience protect and carry us through life.
It was only fitting to tell you about growing with the Lord and how he shaped me into a pearl, a unique pearl of the Lord. Now, why pearls, you might ask. Well, it is all in the name. God has called us all by name as he says in the book of the prophet Isaiah and Rita means pearl. When we go deep into the waters of the meaning of our names, as I like to do, we find more hidden gems. I read about pearls and how they are made in a painful process inside an oyster, mussel, and clam. The more I read about this big painful part of the biology of these sea creatures, the more I noticed how God allows painful experiences to fashion us into something marvelous. It was at that moment that my life journey started to make perfect sense.
One such experience, war, has affected me greatly. The sudden invasion of my beloved country, Iraq, disturbed everything my family and I held dear. War stripped away security, home, and comfort. As a cradle Catholic woman who experienced being in a warzone at the age of 10, my whole world was shaken early in life. I experienced what it meant to live in a constant state of fear for my life and my loved ones. It all happened so quickly, and the memories from that time would last a lifetime. I still hold a few of those memories close to my heart and offer them to the Lord whenever the little fearful girl inside of me comes out. I take it all to Him and Blessed Mother Mary, for they have been through it all with me.
One bible verse that kept showing up when we needed reassurance of God’s presence was Psalm 32 verse 8. “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.”
After a year of destruction in our neighborhood, we thankfully found refuge in a neighboring country, a country that was beautiful and full of history and generosity. It was a different world and my fearful and quiet self did not take to it quickly. But eventually, it felt like we found home once again. If you have met any refugee, you know that their place of refuge is not permanent and there is always the need to settle somewhere. Somewhere that truly feels like home.
One day, we found it, after rejected applications for asylum. We were finally accepted to go to a country across the sea. A country known for its water, cold weather, and generosity.
At last, my road to settlement in a North American country, Canada, a proper education starting with learning a foreign language and culture, and gradually forming the pearl started. It took the pearl in me long to form, but God was patient and merciful through it all.
He was patient and loving when the fear would cripple back in with every minute, word, and step I took.
He was patient and comforting when I almost gave up learning English or sharing who I am through my writings, speech, or even a look or smile.
He was patient and merciful when I looked for my true identity from the ways of the devil over His word and ways.
He was patient and consoling when I kept believing that I was a victim of my circumstance and there was no way I would overcome them.
He was patient and kind when I ignored, misunderstood, or did not recognize the angels He sent my way.
He was patient and joyful when I finally went back to Him full time by attending mass regularly and joining the youth group committee at my local Chaldean Catholic parish to encounter him in the sacraments, share his goodness and truth with others while being surrounded with his word and saints in the making.
He was truly patient and forgiving when I confessed to Him my past hurts, sins, and troubles.
And finally, He was incredibly forgiving to the point that my tears were enough for the act of contrition.
And now as a settlement worker in schools, it is my time to help others grow their pearls and overcome the challenges of settling in a new country. I want to become the person I needed but didn’t have growing up as a refugee and immigrant. It has been equally rewarding and challenging to serve and advocate for newcomers, and it does require a lot of patience and mercy to both ourselves and others.
Handwritten quote from the writer
The Lord and Blessed Mother are excellent teachers when it comes to patience and mercy. I strive to reflect them in everything I say, do and pursue in life, encounter families from all walks of life and they all have one thing in common: they want a better future for their kids. I mainly assist the Arabic-speaking population and it has been heartbreaking to witness the wounds and losses they have gone through escaping the destruction of their homelands over the years. There is a great difference between the Eastern and Western cultures and it takes those families a long time to adapt and work through the culture shock. The new generation of children usually adapt faster, but they are all eager to learn, work, and share the beauty and richness of the Eastern culture while embracing the Western world’s rules and way of life.
Now, when I am asked if I want to know what the future holds or what my past says about me and how others define me, I turn to the one who truly holds it and knows it all — and in Him, true love and mercy are found. I have seen it, felt it, and believe it.
Sincerely,
His precious Pearl
About the Writer: Rita is a 26-year-old Iraqi native Chaldean Catholic Canadian and a settlement worker in schools. When not helping the newcomer families’ settle in the country and schools system, she is exploring ways of helping others through sharing her story in creative ways by writing poems, making art and attending and leading church youth groups and teaching Sunday school. She is a bookworm who loves reading on psychology, mental health, astronomy, catholic theology and fictional stories about family, love, friendships, and relationships.
To download a free wallpaper inspired by Rita’s letter, visit our new wallpaper collection.
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