The moment my motherhood changed was when my fourth child was eleven months old. The other kids were ages 6, 5, and 3. We were all in the kitchen when I lost it on them for what seemed like the hundredth time that morning. And then I saw it: the look of fear in their eyes. I realized my children were afraid of me.
Read MoreHave you ever entered Lent with a laundry list of ways you desire the Lord to work on your heart? Have you hoped that adding this or that prayer routine and giving up this or that time-suck activity would create the space to end up as the perfectly new spiritual version of your Ash Wednesday self?
Read MoreI don’t always share my gifts. Sometimes I let them be just for me - for me and my time with God, or for the times I need to relax and recharge. But sometimes I know that what has been on my mind and heart needs to be released. It needs to express itself in some way specifically so that it can be shared. Those are the times my love for art, dance, and writing is transformed and my gifts are placed at the service of others.
Read MoreAs I write this letter, I find myself sitting on the floor accompanied by a pile of emotions. If this had happened to me a few years back, I would stand up, box up all my feelings and wrap it tight. For most of my life, I thought that feeling too many things meant there was something wrong with me. I worried about how I would appear to my friends- What would they think of me?
Read MoreWhen I said my wedding vows, I didn’t know what relevance “in sickness and in health” would soon hold in my life. The morning of my wedding, I distinctly remember noticing stiffness in my fingers. It only lasted for a little bit and I didn’t dwell on it too long (Afterall, I had more important things going on that day.) But it was the first time I remember noticing anything different about my body…
Read MoreA couple of years ago in college, I led a confirmation retreat. Even though I was dealing with a lot of anxiety about my relationship and vocation at that time, this retreat allowed me to leave all that for just a bit and focus on our 7th- and 8th-grade students. What a blessing that was!
Read MoreCan I be honest with you? If I could, I would stay right where I am and never leave my comfort zone, but that wouldn’t be living the life God has called me to live. Opening myself up to share part of my story isn’t the most comfortable thing to do. It’s certainly not comfortable admitting our weaknesses either, but that is when growth begins.
Read MoreToday we face a pandemic. We are faced with so much uncertainty and suffering. I don’t know how our family finances, or our children’s education will be affected, or who will live or die in the next month. I don’t even know if my daughter will get to have her first communion this spring. We do not know what God’s doing. It’s easy for me to doubt God’s goodness.
Read MoreI don’t know if the experience at that church was the origin of my religious obsessive-compulsive issues, but it has always stood out in my mind as a piece of the puzzle. I think I was born naturally inclined to seek control, and so a mixture of fear and a desire for control propelled my faith forward as I grew up.
Read MoreThe summer before my senior year, I was a mess. I just had a difficult exit as the president of our Newman group on campus and my faith was very much on the rocks. An overachiever at heart, I had used my work as a facade for faith.
Read MoreFor a long time, I truly believed that I was broken, even though I’ve heard over and over again that “the Lord makes the brokenhearted whole.” It took many years to finally acknowledge my childhood trauma, and it took months of panic and anxiety attacks, vivid flashbacks, and hiding it away to finally face it.
Read MoreIn 2011, I started my first job. I loved the work, and I also loved that it paid well. Growing up in a simple Indian middle-class family with a strong emphasis on maintaining high moral values, we didn't have much "stuff" but there always seemed to be more than enough love to go around. I wondered back then if life could have been better if we had more money?
Read MoreI realized that some of my coworkers had made it years if not a lifetime without any intimate encounter with Love Himself, with the assurance of being seen, known, and cared for no matter what.
Read MoreOne day in college, I remember being struck by the Gospel of Jesus calling Peter out onto the water to walk with him. Although this was a familiar passage to me, this was the first time I read a reflection that focused not on Peter losing trust and beginning to sink, but on his leap out of the boat.
Read MoreGrowing up, I was afraid to fail. I was completely afraid to admit when I was wrong, to lose a game of backyard baseball, a family game of monopoly, the list goes on. At times my fear of failure would actually stop me from experiencing new opportunities.
Read MoreWhen I graduated from college, I moved home with no job and no plans. I knew that I wanted to do a year of service but I didn’t know what exactly that meant for me. I applied to a service program and was given the choice between several different service sites working with all different populations.
Read MoreI wanted close friends so badly because, as an only child, I never had a sister of my own. I had supportive family relationships and friendships, which more than made up for not having siblings. But, instead of receiving their love as a gift from God, all I could see was the hole left in my life by the sister I'd never had.
Read MoreI knelt in the last pew of the little adoration chapel, reflecting on my Wednesday workday and trying to motivate myself to pray the Rosary when a middle-aged Hispanic woman entered. She shuffled past me, dropped to her knees in front of the monstrance and lifted her hands.
Read MoreHolding our 9-month old daughter who weighed less than thirteen pounds, I prayed that God would send us to the right doctors. I prayed for her healing and placed her on the altar with Isaac, hoping for a resurrection. I had to trust that God would bring us through whatever happened, although my heart ached for her to be healed. She was His daughter too, after all.
Read MoreDuring the spring term of second grade, my parents were thrilled that I was finally off the waitlist and able to attend the Catholic school near our home. Even all those years ago, I remember being the new kid at school, feeling alone and outcasted, desiring the simplest gesture of friendship from a peer.
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